Bursting the Bubble

I remember when I was little, a small little boy about yay high. I grew up quite poor. In welfare actually. My Dad came to this country with only 200 dollars in his pocket, a briefcase with some clothes, and a research scholarship. My mom and I followed him to this wonderful land of opportunity a year later. We lived in this one room apartment where the kitchen and bathroom was shared with 3 other families. Our living room, dining room, bedroom, was all just the same room. As I describe these conditions, I smile. Why? I remember being quite jolly in those days. I remember running around in the playground playing with new met friends everyday. I remember sitting at home reading books with my parents and diving into the depths of Chinese folklore. I remember spending hours of my time wondering how I could find a new way to play with my little toy from McDonalds. I remember being genuinly happy. It was most likely ignorant bliss

As the years passed, our financial situation definitly improved. Living where we are now, having what we have now, shows definitly how lucky we are to live in a land where we can start off on welfare and end up in the upper middle class suburbia. But why am I talking about this? It's because I no longer feel the same jovial love that I felt in that one room run down apartment. Theres no more running around playing with random people, its been replaced by the routine movies with familiar faces. Theres no more sitting at home reading with parents, its been replaced with each member of our family sitting infront of individual computers, having the independence to do what ever we want. Theres no more joy from a little toy, its been replaced by more greed for material goods. If i get an Ipod, I want the newer, more decked out Ipod. If I get a computer, I have to make sure I'm getting the fastest computer out there. It kills the enjoyment of the material possessions. This "keeping up with the Joneses" mentality really sucks out all the fun of just being able to play with your possessions and being gratified. (Did not mean to word the previous sentence like that please excuse the provocative images) The mentality that we are successful by the things we own, such as the car we drive, the size of house we live in, the brand of our clothes, makes us feel like we're never successful enough. There's always going to be a bigger house, a nicer car, cooler clothes, but we're never going to be able to have it all. And the fact that we will fail in the long term is depressing. Something thats out of our control uncomforts and unsettles us moving us to become workaholics. Training us to believe that we have complete control over our success.

In the end... All I'm trying to say is that I remember when I was poor, I was better off. I was happy with the things I did have and didn't complain about the things I dont have. I almost wish that I could go back to those days, but knowing what I know now, and with the values embeded in me, there would be no turning back. I have taken the red pill, and theres no waking up from this nightmare.

btw, this all might seem very depressing and gloomy, and be aware that I am fully happy with the things I have. Of course I still strive for more, but I'm quite satisfied with my possessions. I'm thankful for the things that I have. I'm generally very happy. I just kinda wish that I could retain some of that ignorant bliss I had as a small child.